The YES and NO

this blog fucking sucks.

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 23:58:25 -0500

Oh shit, you’re right. Good looking out, anon. I’ll stop now.

I lied

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 22:11:07 -0500

The YES and NO will return next week.

Photobomb

Fri, 27 Apr 2012 12:33:42 -0500

This man artfully photobombed his own photo. What sets him apart from every cam whore since Myspace? If you have to ask, you’ll never know.

Everyone wants to photobomb so badly now that even the foreground/focus is often a photobomb, these days.

Protest

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 13:31:14 -0500

When you’re angry about something, fucking be angry about it. Don’t be passive aggressive. Don’t write an allegory about it. Don’t tweet about it. Be. Angry. ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!

“And we stand up for shit that matters! Like wearing things like this!!!”

In The Crowd

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 15:29:00 -0500

Around this girl, the rest of the world just appears to be shades of grey… not the shitty erotica book.

This guy is back from the future of fashion and modeling to tell us all that there is no hope. The future is littered with the ruins of the magazine industry, and the only appropriate accessory is a cane to help you walk through the post-apocalyptic landscape littered with anorexic, bone-lost skulls.

80s Pop Culture

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 15:29:00 -0500

Quite simply put, why doesn’t this happen more often? Surely we can muster up two horny computer geeks in this day and age.

“I am She-ra! Princess of Power! Now, what can I get you, hun? We got a special on Grand Slams.”

What?

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 14:03:00 -0500

As much as I absolutely positively despise duckface, this girl’s on a whole nother thing. She’s daring us to say something about it, and I am backing down.

This one’s kind of meta. The kid in this photo is all of us, standing there saying, “Now, just what kind of pinko idiocy is this before me?”

[We’ve got some pretty sweet pants on. - Ed.]

Leggings

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 13:59:15 -0500

There’s so little of a fuck being given here that this could be called a dry hump.

This is happening whether you want it to or not.

The Streets

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 16:02:19 -0500

I’m sure there’s some artistry intended here, but all I’m seeing is grass-covered tits… and I’m OK with that.

I’m sure there’s some artistry intended here, but all I’m seeing is grass-covered ass… and I’m not OK with that.

Shirtless

Wed, 18 Apr 2012 15:31:05 -0500

Even this guy himself was caught off guard by his bare-chested allure as he trekked through the woods on his way to have sex with every woman in the world.

When you take off your shirt, you probably shouldn’t continue to be monochromatic.

Being Loud

Tue, 17 Apr 2012 15:32:08 -0500

This girl certainly accomplished what she set out to do if it was “creating a gooey mess in a blogger’s underpants.”

If I’m ever put into a position to decide who lives and who dies on this planet, the very top of the “Who Dies” list is going to say, “That grown man with the pink polo shirt, oversized baseball cap, blue shorts and purple douche headphones draped around his neck.”

Spring Dresses

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 15:30:30 -0500

How do I say this without sounding creepy? That dress looks as good on you as it’ll look on my homemade mannequin facsimile of you.

What the fuck is this — spring moments brought to you by Spirograph?

Good news, everyone!

Sat, 14 Apr 2012 13:16:25 -0500

The YES and NO returns this week. Expect a post a day from here on out.

Teenage Girls

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 12:06:43 -0600

Are you frickin’ kidding me? I am neither a fan of smoking nor redheads, but you wear both like badges of “fuck you, guy who writes these things,” among other frills and boner-inducing quirks.

When Tammy and Rachel traveled back in time to their cherished shared memory of their blossoming BFF friendship, what they had really traveled back to was the genesis of a lifetime of bad fashion decisions.

Tits

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 21:02:06 -0600

Um… why are you even reading this? Get thee to a lotion bottle!

Bigger is not always better. Fake is never as good as real. Ladies, how would you feel if all men started walking around with 12-inch rubber dildos popping tents in their pants all day every day? You’d get the man home, unzip his pants and go, “Oh… I could’ve bought that.” That’s what fake breasts are. They’re disappointing, and when a woman goes overboard on the inflation, they’re the refusing-to-jiggle elephant in the room. Seriously, though, there’s no such thing as bad boobs. You’re welcome, guys. Have a good masturbate!

Teeth

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 12:45:15 -0600

Having love for all teeth whether they’re white, yellow, diseased or rotting is cool. Just really cool. It’s the new feel-good social movement.

This is the orthodontic equivalent of black face.

Ladies

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 16:15:40 -0600

I don’t know about you, but I like my women all natural. I like the wayward breast hair if not to match, then at least complement the carpet, so to speak.

Before you get too excited, I advise that if you manage to remove those unbelievably small shorts somehow, you’re liable to find a solid, plastic pelvis where a vagina should be.

Statements

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 16:03:00 -0600

She clearly doesn’t give a fuck about what you’re seeing — only what she’s seeing, which right now is all blue, baby.

This is like when Prince performed at the Super Bowl and he stood behind a sheet so the silhouette of him and his guitar made it look like he had a gigantic demon penis — only this lacks any semblance of mystique, sex appeal or rebellion. You might as well be a guy on a street corner on your phone with a Guitar Hero guitar.

Lookalikes

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 13:12:00 -0600

Said with a Joel Hodgson or Mike Nelson (your preference) surprised inflection: Jeff Bridges?!

When you’re crazy enough to model yourself after a celebrity, don’t incept yourself and model yourself after a crazy celebrity.

Getting Out There

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 13:41:13 -0600

Howard had found that when he went to his white collar, 9-to-5 job in his Armani suit every day, he was dead inside. Howard had found that at Albuquerque Pride he was the man.

Did you know that Randy “Macho Man” Savage’s mother outlived him?